You just entered a new relationship, you should be 100% happy, but something is bothering you. You have an inkling that something is wrong. Could the partner still be in love with his/her ex? Is it going to be recognized? He’s going. Read what 7 signals you can notice.
Sometimes relationships are not the most rosy, everyone knows that. There can be many problems that lead to arguments or just not understanding each other enough. But you don’t even have to argue in your relationship, and you can also feel a strange feeling. How would the partner be a little more relaxed and still think about his/her ex. Of course, this usually happens when a man ends one relationship and immediately goes into another. Everything that will be described here can of course also happen the other way around – women also remain in love with their ex-partner. For the sake of simplicity, in some cases we will use the words partner in the masculine gender and ex in the feminine gender, but you can also turn it around.
The question arises – what about it? If you are absolutely sure that your partner is still in love with his ex, you can try to wait. Often it’s just a feeling of losing something we knew, and some people take a little longer to get used to it. It helps a lot when their ex also finds a partner and he realizes that life goes on. If you want to support him a little, you can talk to him about it, although often people don’t want to talk about it or even deny it. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you miss someone, even if it is an ex-partner. After all, people live together for several (dozens) of years, and when things change from day to day, it’s a really big change. But he should definitely not cling to the latter. The two can remain friends, even if it’s so tricky. Neither of them can stay in love. And if neither of them is really in love, they are often estranged from each other and only distant friendship connects them – they say hello on the street, once every few years we “chat”, which is new. If there is such a relationship between them, there is nothing to fear.
The best solution to such a situation is to avoid being in a relationship with someone who has just ended a relationship. And even worse if his second partner ended the relationship. Put your legs on your shoulders and run as hard as you can, because this does not bode well. But you can’t trust the heart. The mind says one thing, but the heart … It is usually stronger. And besides, one would later regret not having at least tried it. But go into it with an open mind, you have to know what can happen and that it may not be pleasant at all. If this ugly vision comes true, then it will be up to you to decide whether to stay or leave.
So now we are getting to the important part. How to know that our partner is still in love with his ex? How does he show it even if he doesn’t tell you? (And note that he won’t just admit it.)
He does not confide in you
He doesn’t have to confide in you with everything, but when you ask him where he’s been all afternoon (not reproachfully, more curiously, what he’s been doing and how he’s been) and he’s reluctant to answer, it’s a little weird. He also looks downright delusional, so that’s not a good sign. Of course, he could just be preparing some surprise for you or buying you gifts for Christmas or for your birthday, but that is rather such a naive idea to calm his mind that everything is fine. If this strange behavior keeps repeating itself, it might be worth trying to figure out its origin.
He doesn’t want to be tied down
Have you been dating for a few months, but he still doesn’t want to say you’re together? That smells like trouble. We’re not talking about shouting out to the Facebook world that you’re in a relationship. Fortunately, it’s not very fashionable anymore, and above all, it’s stupid. If your partner doesn’t want to have it there, don’t force him, your friends will know anyway, and if you want to show others how happy you are, just add a photo from a walk where you are both tagged. That’s how you can compensate. However, this is not the primary problem in question. This happens when he doesn’t want to tell his friends or family about your relationship, or when you can’t hold hands outside, for example.
Why does anyone do such things? He mostly wants to appear single to others. He may also think that you are not the right partner he envisions for life. But he often wants to be single just for his ex-partner, so that he can take him back. It is not fair to you at all and it is not worth wasting your time with such a person. You can’t buy time, so think carefully about who you’re going to spend it with.
He always finds reasons to talk about his ex
The only time this would be acceptable would be if the person was a mutual friend of yours, or if you had mutual friends who were friends with the person. After that, it is quite likely that the word would reach him. But if he keeps talking about his ex, it’s not good. A typical example is that even when completely stupid, he/she will remember her/him. Do you have spaghetti for dinner? Yes, spaghetti, my ex liked it very much. Are you going to the zoo on Saturday? Yes, my ex and I went to the zoo all the time. Or green was his favorite color, he liked rock, he played the guitar, and so on. If you hear this too often (such a mention how many times is enough), it is suspicious. Maybe it’s just what we wrote above – he’s been used to it for so long and has so many memories that he can’t get them out of his head and vents them out loud, even though he’s no longer in love. This happens quite often.
If this situation annoys you, let him know that it’s not bothering you, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. In that case, he apologizes and takes care of it. But if he is unpleasant or even somehow suggests that you are making things up, you are facing a problem. Especially if it meets any of the mentioned points.
He still talks to his ex and goes out … without you
It has already been said that two can remain friends, this happens mostly when they were friends before the relationship. But in no case should your partner give priority to his ex over you or spend more time with her than with you. Also, if he lies to you about going somewhere else or completely accidentally fails to mention that his ex will be there, be careful. He wants to be alone with her, and that is already suspicious. If he had a clear conscience, he would have invited you too and would not have been embarrassed in your presence.
He still likes his/her ex’s photos on Facebook
Giving a like to a photo or status once in a while is not an act worthy of punishment. Be careful if he likes or comments on every post of his ex partner and especially when he is among the first or even has a notification set when he shares any post. It doesn’t have to concern only Facebook, we already have many more social networks. You need to choose one that you don’t have. Well, today’s modern world has certain advantages, but they go hand in hand with many disadvantages, and this is one of them.
He compares you to her/him
Mostly it’s about arguments, when he pulls out his great previous relationship. It could be anything that his ex partner did better. Did he wash the dishes better? Did he wash it more often? Maybe you often hear sentences like “He/didn’t do that/” or conversely “He/and did that/and differently!” and so on. No one tolerates constant comparison well, many people have already experienced it in their childhood from their parents and they don’t want to experience it again, which is right. Each person is unique and no one will be a copy of someone else. If his ex-partner was so perfect, let him go back to him. He’s probably not happy with you and it won’t change.
Interest and disinterest alternate with him
In many couples, one thing happens – one of the partners alternates between interest and lack of interest. Most of the time it seems like he might take a few days off to spend every spare minute with you and then he’s able to not talk to you for a few days. It either means that he is insecure about your relationship or he is full of worries. If he’s not interested at all, it’s easy – just move away and live your life with someone who will be interested. But when these periods alternate, it confuses a person and he does not know what he is in for. Sometimes it can mean that he only has you as a backup. It is often related to the second point – he does not want to declare your relationship official.